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Monday, March 5, 2012

Fascinatingly Dull Youtube Channels

We always share the weirdest, wackiest, and most outrageous things on Youtube, but what about the opposite? Let's look at some boring channels that are beautiful in their dullness, like a gray, unscented, cardboard flower in a rose garden.

Boasting 4 whole subscribers, the actual National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's youtube channel brings you outdated radar reports from around the country, each about 4 seconds in length. You know, I was looking for the weather report for Melbourne, FL on 8-6-2011, and now I've found it! Just sit back, press the play-all button, and enjoy 6 and a half hours of green and blue (and sometimes yellow!) pixels combing across plain white maps. Sadly, there hasn't been any activity since August of 2011, but at least you can catch up on the backlog until they come out with new episodes.

Remember the old Prevue Guide channel? This uploader does. With only 11 videos, this playlist captures the spirit of the Prevue Guide from 1990 to 1997. They even have the HILARIOUS Prevue Guide rebooting sequences! It's like watching the grape-stomping lady falling on the dramatic prairie dog. Viewers agree. The channel has had 18,000 views! Get on this Prevue Guide trend.

And now the king of futile exercises, a channel devoted to tiny toy food. With no narration, music, or human faces, RRCherrypie brings you 90 videos of fingers carefully mixing, chopping, and spreading the tiny ingredients. Apparently, toy food is a thing in Japan. And none of it is edible. It's like someone said "I like arts-and-crafts and I also like cooking. I'd like to do both at the same time. And still not have a consumable product."To her credit, CherryPie is very good at what she does... I'm assuming. I really have no clue what to compare her to. But if you want to relax and make yourself hungry, then join the 95,000 subscribers who watch CherryPie and her dextrous fingers.
Oh, I just did some snooping around and we actually do get to see CherryPie's face when she constructs herself a pair of cat ears. Adorkable!

And now for something naughty. We enter the sexy, sexy lair of gas pedal pumping. While I have absolutely no interest in gas pedaling (is that the phrase?), I can't deny other people their preferences. However, if you are not immediately aroused by these videos, then you are watching several minutes of a guy pressing a gas pedal and probably bored/confused. There are hundreds... dozens of these channels on Youtube, so naturally I chose the one with the grossest name.

Honorable mention:
While Canzona features other videos on his channel, one thousand of these uploads are part of the "I am sitting in a video room" series. (Don't you all have video rooms?) Our hero filmed himself talking into a webcam seen here:
Then he downloaded it and reuploaded it a thousand times until the quality diminished into this:

What I've posted are the only two relevant videos in the series. The other 998 between these are... well... useless but Canzona posted them for all to see. The experiment itself is quite intriguing in showing how video quality suffers through aggregators like Youtube, but now there 998 more pointless videos filling the system. Thanks.

So let us celebrate the dullness of our world: the color gray, the scent of plaster, the sound of a test pattern. Go to your window and shout out to the world a triumphant "Meh..."

I know there are more dull sites out there, so if you find one, post below.

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