Welcome to the home of the post-post modern artist, writer, and video maker the Obscure.
Wipe your shoes, clear your mind, and play nice with the other children.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Terry, Terry

Hey look! It's my living room! Oh, and also some girl I know.

The very lovely and talented Olivia C Denmark takes over my living room and performs one of the most dramatic scenes you will ever witness. Written, directed, and performed by O.C.D. Shot and edited by yours truly.

We present: Terry, Terry.
(Soundtrack by O.C.D. with special thanks to the Garage Band app.)

Friday, December 21, 2012

Chez Apocalypse, 2012

The Mayans never predicted an Apocalypse for 2012. People on the Internet invented that to sell books with asteroids and Planet X on the cover. However, it appears there is an Apocalypse occurring after all. And no, the X-Force didn't clone the mutant Apocalypse... again.

I'm talking about Chez Apocalypse. I have many audience members who are completely unaware of the world of Internet Reviewers. A friend once wrote me to say "did you hear of this Nostalgia Critic? He's stealing your gimmick!" "No, friend, it's... the other way around... sadly." So, for viewers ingrained in the "Reviewniverse" (that's apparently what the community of critics is called) you are already familiar with the faces at Chez Apocalypse. But for those of you who still think my show is wildly original, you should check out these talented sexy people. After all, many of them influenced my show.

CHEZ APOCALYPSE is now open for business.

On second thought, screw it. Just watch MY SHOW! And then watch it AGAIN!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

MMM: Retro Future

Let me present the second episode of "Media Mixtape Meltdown": RETRO FUTURE.

It's the world of tomorrow... yesterday! We zip through some of my favorite media and ideas from the golden era of futurism: houses, cars, fashion, and a little character called Colonel Bleep.

Watch MMM Vol. 2: Retro Future.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Space Cat on Mushrooms

So yeah...
Space Cat on Mushrooms.
It existed.
Circa 1950s.
This text looks unavailable, but other "Space Cat" books are on GoodReads including the tantalizing "Space Cat Meets Mars."

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

12-21-12 Predictions

Holy crap, you guys, 12-21-12 is next week! Will the world end? Will we be screwed? Will all those 2012 Doomsday books be half-price at Barnes and Noble? Will I buy them and read them ironically at bus stops? Well of course.

But on a serious note... E-Flat.

On another serious note, the Doomsday prophecy is another case of Anglo-European ideology thrusting itself upon other cultures. The Mayans do not believe in a doomsday scenario (and if they do, it's not very well published.) Instead, they see the resetting of their calendar as a time of enlightenment as though we are entering a Golden Age when knowledge is more valuable than money and the Superman franchise is decent. To put it in perspective, the last time the Mayan Calendar reset, cave painters appeared on the planet and modern humanity with all its bells and whistles began. What does this mean for us, the descendents of the Flintstones? (I, personally, can trace my lineage back to Barney Rubble. Thanks, Mormons!)

I present my predictions for December 21, 2012.

1) We will able to view the fourth dimension. Dreamworks immediately begins making movies in 4D. The gimmick gets old fast.

2) New colors will become visible. Your box of Crayola crayons will double in size with new additions like Purporange, Breen, and Aquamarine Polygon.

3) Already existing colors will become more vibrant. It ends up there is a HUGE difference between Pink, Salmon, and Coral. You will owe your decorator an apology.

4) Scientists will discover free energy. The new technology will be used to power an oil rig, thus accomplishing nothing.

5) Aliens will return to Earth, take a look around, shake their heads, and back away from the planet head-desking the whole way home.

6) Aliens will return to Earth to buy their advanced tickets for Les Mis.

7) The ancient beings buried beneath the sea since the dawn of time will rise up and take back what is theirs: a White Castle franchise in Flagstaff, AZ.

8) Money will lose its value with the advent of free energy. The New York Stock Exchange will be converted into the world's loudest TGIFridays.

9) Humanity will discover the secret to immortality. Keith Richards will respond by saying "'s 'bout time you people figure' out the secret 's Marmite!"

10) We will evolve into the next step in human evolution: tall gray-skinned creatures with massive brains sticking out of our skulls. Here are a few 'Yo Mama' jokes for when that happens.
"Yo mama's so gray, when she stands against cement, she disappears."
"Yo mama's so short, she can still walk through doorways without bending over."
"Yo mama's so dumb, her brain looks like a meatball rolled on her head."
"Yo mama's so under-evolved, she still has eyelids."
"Yo whole family's so poor, your dark matter particle accelerator is a doughnut with a straw in it."


Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Color Me Fun

Winter blues gettin' to you? Seasonal depression making an impression? Have some fun in the sun with this little film strip from 1970, "Color Me Fun." Clip below.
"So many groovy things and groovy people." Resonating with such kitschy charm and a Yacht-load of film scratches, it's hard for this clip not bring a smile to your face.

To view the full 13 minute movie, visit the Florida Memory website. The film opens with the best line of narration I've ever heard in a tourism film: "What you're about to see... exists." We've got a real winner here.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

ML: The Crook of Virtues

Morals, charity, and virtues... these blasphemous demons will destroy our civilization and all we hold dear! Join the Immoral Crusade to save this country from the forces of good as I explore one of the biggest perpetrators of moral non-ambiguity. It's Adventures from the Book of Virtues, the 90s cartoon about kids getting advice from talking animals.

Watch "The Crook of Virtues."

Were you talking to that buffalo again?